Commander's Brief

In 2019, I grabbed my DD-214 from the desk at Ft. Bragg’s Soldier Support Center (after waiting 1.5 hours for the admin to return from lunch, of course), hopped in my car, and drove out the gate for the last time.

I had a great time during my 8 years in the army and would go back and do it again.

But the transition was hard. I had a ton of questions. Some big and existential, like “What the heck do I do with my life now?” and some more mundane, such as “No, but seriously, do I need to keep every hand receipt I still have? Because I feel like I should.”

Not finding the answers to my questions, I started doing my own research. Then I started writing about what I found. After a few articles, I created a blog.  Then a podcast. Then a newsletter.

Since 2019, I have published 100+ articles about post-military life, interviewed 250+ veterans on my podcast, and posted 1,000s of times on social media about life and careers after the military.

Since creating a bit of a name and following (my wife likes to joke that I am a D-list celebrity in a VERY niche audience), I get asked to help out veterans all the time.

Here’s the thing: I just can’t.

I just don’t have the capacity to help every single person who reaches out to me 1-on-1.

So I thought I would condense my thoughts and learnings into a single article that I can point someone to and say, “Start here.”

I have lots more articles and podcasts, but I don’t want to overwhelm someone who is already overwhelmed about life after the military with the typical tactic of “here are 278,688 resources you can use to transition from the military.”

So here are my key thoughts in one place.

#1 No One Owes You Shit

Let me get philosophical for a minute, then tactical.

Just because you served and wore the uniform does not mean you are better than any other citizen. That is not how the principles of our country are designed. No citizen is granted extra rights or privileges as a citizen based solely on their service.

Do not confuse getting priority boarding on a domestic flight with “privilege.”

What I mean is that when we as warrior-citizens start seeing ourselves as “more than,” we have failed the code of arms of the republic.

Ok, now let me get off my soapbox and get to the on-the-ground reality.

The moment you start thinking you are owed anything as a veteran, you are setting yourself up for failure.

Yes, we should receive medical care for injuries (physical and others) sustained in service. And the GI Bill is pretty great. Use it.

But no one owes you a job. No one owes you admission to a top university. No one owes you a promotion.

You have to do it yourself.

Just like everyone else.

Thinking otherwise is a pathway to bitterness and entitled resentment of others who did not weigh themselves down with feelings of being owed to by anyone.

#2 Beware the Veteran Nonprofit Industrial Complex

I am going to piss off a lot of people when I say this, but I don’t care. It needs to be said.

We have too many veteran nonprofits.

Everyone and their mother wants to start a veteran nonprofit because they “care about helping veterans.”

Many are duplicative and simply ego projects for their founders.

Many transition nonprofits are staffed with veterans fresh out of the military who have never had a private-sector job, and create an environment where you have the blind leading the blind.

Others have great marketing and big partnerships, but provide little value.

Let me be clear- there are some amazing organizations out there doing PHENOMENAL work for veterans. They have people who really care AND have the credentials to actually make a difference.

Here is a super-easy way to check out an organization before you spend a lot of time (which is ultimately the price you pay) with it.

Look at their impact report. Most nonprofits will have one readily available on their website.

If they don’t, that’s a good sign you should maybe think twice before working with them.

If they do, read it.

Do they share a bunch of fluff numbers, like how many people they served but no detail about impact?  Or can they clearly articulate the impact they made?

Work with the latter.

#3 The Vet Net is Real and It is Powerful

I am telling you, veterans want to help other veterans.

I have had people argue against me on this, but that is almost always because they have an entitled attitude, in contradiction to Principle #1: No One Owes You Shit.

I have found nothing but help from other veterans.

I know so many veterans who landed great jobs with help from other veterans. I know veterans who had other veterans invest in their new venture. I know tons of veterans who offer their time and expertise to transitioning service members just because they care that much about their brothers and sisters coming behind them.

Yes, when I get on a call with a Marine, I will joke about them eating crayons, and they will joke about me being a lazy army guy, and then we laugh and get down to real talk.

Here are my rules for how to get value out of the Vet Net:

1. Ask for help

2. When you ask for help, be low ego. Listen.

3. Follow up. If someone says your resume sucks and tells you how to fix it, then do it.

4. Go back to Rule 1.

And I will reiterate: No One Owes You Shit.

You still have to want it.

#4 The World Is Your Oyster

This can be both entirely liberating and terribly debilitating.

At best, you can do whatever you want.

At worst, you can do whatever you want.

After the military, the guardrails are off.  There is no promotion schedule or list of schools you need to knock out before your next assignment.

It’s all up to you.

Many veterans step into the federal government or the government contracting industry, where their knowledge and expertise from the military are (mostly) transitioned to a new role.

But you don’t have to do this.

I know a retired Green Beret NCO who edits novels. I know a former Marine officer who runs a crypto investment fund. I interviewed an enlisted medic who produced a TV show with Matt Damon.

There is no right answer.

There is no right path.

Except what is best for you and your family.

So go do that.

#5 Give Yourself Grace

The more experience I gain, the more I am convinced no one truly knows what the heck they are doing.

We are all winging it to some extent.

I’ve interviewed CEOs, billionaires, and former cabinet secretaries, and they will confirm this.

You are going to screw things up.

You may take a job you should not have, or say a joke at work that landed in the team room, but now gets you sent to HR.

Your first resume sucks. Without me even looking at it, I can tell you three things you are doing wrong. Why? Because I made all the same mistakes.

You are going to have to adjust to life outside of the uniform.

So embrace the change.

Be kind to yourself.

And do what warriors do: adapt and overcome.

Pick up your ruck and put one foot in front of the other.

Now go crush it.

-Mark

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